As those of you who have hung in with me through this year have come to realize that I'm going through a bit of a rough patch. I've been overwhelmed, stressed out, and emotionally exhausted from just my work environment. I'm now on a quest to not only change jobs, but ultimately change careers. All of this is causing me to step out of the comfort zone and move (hopefully forward). Which has also caused me to have to confront myself and my demons and my thorn in my side - depression. Depression is a cruel state of mind. It lies to you. Makes you feel like you are all alone. It puts blinders on your eyes, ears, heart, and mind. And it makes you become someone that isn't always pleasant to be around. But what I have realized in the moments that the fog has lifted, is that all that stuff is just emotional stuff, not reality. The reality is - I've got quite a lot going for me, and that is what I'm thankful for this year.
I'm thankful for family.
- My children continue to amaze me. My love for them overwhelms me at times, when I realize just how much I am capable of loving them.
- My husband is my rock. He does not understand my self doubt and my constant battle with depression, but he none-the-less stands by me and encourages me in all my endeavors. He constantly tells me how beautiful, how smart, how wonderful I am.
- My mom is my biggest cheer leader. Even when I hurt her in my venting, she still stands by me and cheers me on.
- My dad is also my biggest cheer leader. I know that he's right next to mom cheering me on.
- My brother and sister - both have been good sounding boards and full of empathy and long distance hugs. I'm so glad we have become such good friends.
I'm thankful for friends.
My friends have been so good to me and I've taken them for granted so much. Many are people that I would have thought unlikely to be my friend, but because of that unlikeliness they are that much more dear to me.
Mark, Royce, Roque - Thanks for thinking I'm the smartest and coolest woman you've ever known.
Doug - You are too generous, thanks for checking up on me in my lonely office.
Mike - Thanks for thinking so much of me, and standing on my side.
Mary - You are such a generous, and kind person. Our ships will come in.
Dennis - I miss you.
Lisa - Thank you for your prayers. I think this is a start of a good friendship. And thank you for being spontaneous with me and braving the cold. It was fun.
Misty - You've been so generous with your advice and support in my triathlon endeavors and then stepped up to the plate in a big way with my changing career endeavor.
Toni - I believe Providence brought you back to Carlsbad... Thank you for "getting" me.
I'm Thankful for My Life.
I live in a free society. I have a good paying job that puts more than enough food on the table and a roof over my head. That my job may not be the greatest, there are people that would give anything to have it or one lessor. My children do not know hunger or cold, do not have anxiety about where they will spend the night or what will happen to them in the night. In this season of giving, please remember those that are less fortunate than you. It could be the troubled kid next door, the single mom down the street, the widow that faces Christmas alone for the first time, the homeless under the bridge, the friend or relative facing an uncertain future as they endure another chemotherapy treatment, the parents whose child is away at war, or any number of people that we come into contact each day. When we get down and focused on our own troubles, sometimes the best anti-depressant is to lend a helping hand to those in need.
Hobbler Gobbler 5K Race Report:
So I wanted to do this race back in September or October and was trying to talk my sister into doing it with me, but schedules, logistics and all of that stuff didn't work out. We finally made plans to travel to my parents house on Thanksgiving Day as did other members of my family to which we planned the big meal for Friday. Then the weather started looking bad, and worse, and finally we decided to head up early to miss the storm and not risk driving in hazardous conditions or missing the whole thing all together. Wednesday morning I headed to Carlsbad for a swim and a half day's work, but ended up swimming, cooking in the office, talking to friends, and watching the weather. Then I checked with the hotel for adding an extra day to our reservation, then checked with race officials about race day registration. All was set, so I headed home to pack, finish cooking and pack all the warm race gear I have. On our way out of town I called Lisa and we toyed with the idea of doing the race, waiting to see how we felt in the morning. She called me at 7:30 am T-day morning and all systems were go. It was cold though, local news said 29 degrees with a wind chill of 20 degrees, but the sun was shining and there was no moisture.
She picked me and all of my layers up and we headed over to the race, froze to death walking to the registration booth, freezing our fingers and ears off registering, warming up in the car while waiting for the start, but having a good laugh at our craziness - see photo above. Then at 9:15ish we were off. I quickly warmed up and kept my eye on Lisa for about 1.5 miles, then she was no where to be seen. The course - hilly. Its difficult to train for hills down where I live. The course - higher altitude, its difficult to train for high altitude where I live. My competition... well there was this guy wearing khaki's and a coat with the hood on who ran/walked the entire course. Seems that he was using me as his signal to run. I would catch up to him and sometimes pass him while he was in his walk phase, then he would start running and pass me. I wanted to cuss, but I didn't. We did this for two miles. I finally passed him for good somewhere after mile two, because I didn't see him again until after I finished and we were headed to the car.
The last mile was hard. I was spent, and I battled the urge to walk a lot. The walk side won a couple of times, but the run side prevailed for most of that last mile. I got pretty warm during that last mile, as the wind was to my back and I was working pretty hard. I debated de-layering but was worried that if I stopped to de-layer I wouldn't get started again. So I just sweated and unbuttoned as much as I could. One final hill to the track that was at the top, and then one loop around the track. Not too bad, except that you were totally exposed to the freezing wind on the track. So here I was tired, wet and now freezing my butt off again. Oh well. I picked it up the last 25 yards or so and finished strong for a time of 36:08. Not my best 5K time but not my worst. Although this is my first stand alone 5K race, so I now have something to shoot for or compare too. I'm glad I did it, even though I had second thoughts before the race, during the race at each hill, and during the last 400 yards. Lisa had a good time too. We didn't stick around to socialize or cheer as we both were cold, and our families were waiting. I think if it wasn't for Lisa going with me, I would have chickened out. Thanks Lisa.
I got to work my soreness out on Saturday morning when I joined Geek Girl for a spin class that was tough, especially since I haven't been on a bike in a while. Got to meet the Dread pirate too, and boil until I was well done in the spa- but no sore muscles...
Overall my weekend with my family was very good, and it was a bonus that I had time to actually socialize with my friends too. It was a good holiday!
3 comments:
Sounds like a fun Thanksgiving...great job to you and Lisa for running that hilly, cold 5K!!
Nice to see you! Sounds like a nice holiday, a good run and like you've got a lot gratitude. Take care.
It was great to see you while you were here, albeit a short visit. Thanks for spurring me on to run the Hobbler Gobbler. I think that will be one of my lasting memories from 2007...our crazy last minute freezing cold why the heck are we doing this hilly 5K silliness. :)
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