I know I am. I can't help it. It is in my genes. I don't like my Mother-in-Law help me in the kitchen, because she doesn't fill the dishwasher right, she doesn't put stuff up where it goes. I mean seriously isn't it obvious that the little forks don't go in the same slot as the big forks? I not quite as hard on my mom, but she's probably where I got my control freak genes from. She at least makes an effort to keep the forks separated.
Anyway when I feel like I'm losing control, or I'm out of control, it stresses me out. I know and I strongly believe that in the big picture I'm not the one in control, but we're talking about my perception here... Sometimes though I think I start to freak out before control is really lost, which is what I'm doing now. So I'm going to work through this and get my perspective back on track.
Friday's I don't usually work. I'm supposed to be working at home, but I usually get my time in in little pieces over the whole weekend. This Friday I've got to go to a bid opening for one of my projects, and prepare a recommendation for the City council. This should be a no brainer, but this project is cursed. This is the second time we've gone to bid, the city has limited funds - its extremely possible the bids will be too high if we actually do get any bids this time. Plus I've got a doctor's appointment that morning for the boys, and I live 30 miles from the doctor and work. So I've been debating about driving back and forth for the two events, how to handle the babysitting - bring them in with me to Day Care - leave them with a neighbor...then I start freaking out about missed naps, then we're leaving that evening for Las Cruces for my race the next morning - Oh yeah and I've got to do laundry, figure out and pack my gear and clothes for everyone else. Are we going to eat on the road, or should I pack something. Oh yeah and I've got to get a new tube and change a flat on my bike, and... should I go swimming tonight or stay home and get some of this stuff done because my Friday is pretty much screwed up. Ahhh! I was going to leave early today so that I could get some stuff done before heading to the pool, but alas this is going to be a day from hell and I've got a late afternoon meeting that will not be short and so leaving early is no longer an option. Work really gets in the way of life. Oh yeah - need to check and see if I won the Lottery...
Okay obviously I need a stress release, so I have to go swimming. I'll just do a quick 400 and head back home. The neighbor will be happy to watch the boys tomorrow afternoon, so I've got time before the doctor's appointment (because we get up so early anyway - thanks to youngest son) and in between (hopefully) coming home and leaving for work again to pack. If the boys miss their naps it will probably be a blessing as they will sleep for most of the trip to Cruces tomorrow night. Screw packing something to eat, trying to be supermom is an unrealistic expectation (ha ha). I'll pick up some tubes today, and I can probably sweet talk SD into changing my flat for me or we can do it at the hotel tomorrow night.
The weather looks good so far. Looks like 31 degrees with a 3mph wind from the SSW, that is doable. No blizzards in the forecast. I'll ponder over my gear selection during my day from hell today, so that I can be an efficient packer. I'm feeling better now that I worked through this. The alarm sounding in my head -"Danger, Danger Shytrigirl, Danger"- is fading. Pray for good bids, quick doctor visit, good weather, and safe driving.