Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Blue Funk

Its my personality, you know the shy, introverted type. Always been prone to depression, and the best cure was exercise. Mom was always telling me to get outside go for a hike or a bike ride or something. So since I've started "training" for triathlons I haven't really had a blue funk.
My definition for blue funk is just that down feeling, without knowing why I'm down. Its kind of a restless, bored feeling, but at the same time not being able to find the motivation to do something. It really bugs the crap out of me, yet here I am.
Contributing factors...Well I was sick all weekend, so I didn't do any training for three days straight. I did sleep a lot which was needed, but then youngest plucked my built up reserve away Sunday night - why he does this is a mystery (no sickness, night mares, wet pants...)
Second - probably most contributing is that it is probably that wonderful, magical time of month that defines us gals as gals.
Third - work just sucks right now! My boss is just Mr. Major Negative and the whole office (all 5 of us) is being affected, and I'm about ready to throttle the only other girl here.
Finally - I think I'm just tired. I'm tired of being tired, I'm tired of driving 30 miles to work everyday, I'm tired of riding my bike and running in the dark, I'm tired of my house always being a mess, I'm tired of griping about stuff I'm tired about.

The weekend after next, Hubby and I are getting a weekend away from the little ones (hopefully). I'm looking forward to time with my best friend that I live with but hardly ever see anymore, and looking forward to extra sleep. Got an appointment at the bike shop there to work on fit issues with my MTB and hopefully find a solution to my hand numbness issue that I can't seem to figure out... as well as get measurements to hopefully help me find the right road bike, when either a)the eBay gods smile at me and put the right one up for sale, or b) my pennies get saved up.

Finally I can't make up my mind. I'm training for the Fat Tire Tri in Fort Collins on August 26th, but there are two others before that one that have peaked my interest. One is the Tall City Tri in Midland on August 5, the other is the Socorro Chili Harvest Tri on August 12th. What I'm debating is (and this is stupid) how one or the other will fit in my training schedule. Yes I am really anal and I have trouble throwing a previously unscheduled event in the middle of my nicely laid out training schedule that I've written in pencil. The other thing is that I'm scared. What if I injure myself, what if I over do it, what if I DNF and that screws up my mental game, what if... Plus then there is the money involved, plus any other excuse I can think of.

The good news is that venting a little should help, the odds of me bumming other's out is little since very few folks read my posts anyway, the pool is going to be open tonight, and I've only got three more hours to suffer through before I can see my babies again, and "you can bet your bottom dollar that the sun will come out tomorrow."

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